honesty

eat sweets, get fat,
drop beats, smoke crack,
i dont rap, i just write,
cause i'm afraid of the mic.

en route to work.

the trigger hook on my backpack
snaps back, i look, see rats, another
sick cat creeps past in the alley,
this is hopeless, the notebooks
filled with notes; this thought, like grim rope
of noose hung in trees swings in the breeze of
the limited life of my lyrical
rhyme scheme possibilties.

bass drum dreams and dramamine

Its a wonder i cant find the
things i have discovered in my past lives,
taking for granted this could be my last life.
i should wander through my memories
of lovers, drugs, and other sweet
indulgences my body has digested.
i should search for them so
i don't feel so restless.

huntington.

reading old poems,
thank strangers, not god, for life,
drink vodka,
this is new brunswick.
kiss girls who feed me grapefruit,
so sour, yet so sweet.
three kind of drinks to keep me
appreciative, numb,
get splashed by an SUV on the stumble home.
working tomorrow.
what was her name?
she fed me grapefruit.

slightly less boring news update#2

here's the good news:

i have a new project planned out.
somewhere in between noise and no-wave.
album name is picked out, will most likely be around
the same number of tracks all of my releases
have been..

bad news is, i dont know where that will leave HaHa for now.
I'll probably still toy with it a bit, i need to figure it out more, but
this other project idea kindof jumped out at me first.
expect something new by next year.

that sounds a lot further away than it actually is.

River Dorms.

top floor:
boys under umbrellas dodge drops
of rain like dogs with broken bones
on rollerskates. this looks good to me,
the whole thing, to me, looks good.

boring news update.

im never satisfied with what i write,
but i did it.

HaHa track#1 complete. more to come soon.

a lull for long times.

are you glowing?
great god almighty,

you like my heavy eyes?
the cracks in the teeth of my smile?
the slurring of my wine-soaked tongue?
why dont you sit and stay a while.
Satisfy my soul!
Some things last for hours,
some things take long times,
i am patient, i will be patient,
i will sit still, i am hushed,
a lull for long times.

green teeth

green tea stains and
wisdom tooth pains
keep on growing in.

i wrap my shoulders tightly
in a blanket in the night time and
sit and wait for something,
sit and wait for anything,
patiently, you will find me waiting
getting cold in the clothes
of a wild now-ex-lover's
kind and older brother.

hunky-dory

oh, how the fallen are mighty.
oh, what a life do i lead.
see what your beauty has made me?
a cat on a branch up a tree.

Marlboro Smooth?

there is wind,
there is traffic,
i go limp,
i have a headache,
but i walk high with squinted eyes
searching the horizon for a sign of life.
I want to see birds in V formation
like a child would draw when he gets impatient
on a picture of his perfectly square home
filled with a stick figure family.
I want to step below sea level, let my breaths
bubble up to the surface,
i see a red car pass, i think of you,
get nervous,
and duck behind the bushes outside the
convenience store.
This is a fact,
i cannot do that any more.
This is a truth,
i will continue to do what i
always do.

i like to spill!

i should circulate lewd photos
of me on the internet
just to see what happens.
maybe then i will be on the cover
of a tabloid magazine.
maybe then i will be able to
hold my weight in dollar bills
and sell my soul as a set of skills
for teenage kids to thrive from
or spread my seed in the community
as a drug for them to die on.

i've been..

I guess i would say life is just a game of Stratego,
we see only where our traps are placed
and guess where we believe we
need to go.
At most, we see the backs of
everybody else's pieces,
no hints, no intimations,
we're left up to our own reasons.

i've been alone and in
my underwear
for hours.
i sweep my feet across the
kitchen floor
and rustle up the dust from
whomever lived here before.
i do the dishes,
i wait for them to dry.
i sit on my windowsill when night rolls in.
how lovely, how simple, i am alive.

YooHoo, HaHa

Once upon a stranger's couch
feeling sluggish with my contacts in,
i shook the cobwebs off my pant legs,
watched the dog get fed some
scrambled eggs, i bet myself i wouldn't
make it to church,
I, i
i dragged myself to the car,
i do not dare to take a shower,
but the world was light,
grass wet
like a rainbow in the sunlit splash
of a hundred droplets from a sprinkler.
That i do recall, that i must think
i stand up straight before the bare trees
in the courts of Fall.

one way to begin november.

the change from my pocket
scattered
down to the ground below me
beneath the balcony.
their shine, their weight,
gone from my grip.
those regal faces, the dull edges,
they looked back at me.
i sat on the steps
and wept.
they were still in my sight.
their value still tangible,
their shape, just beyond my reach.

halloween eve eve

God bless you if
your dying wish is peaceful,
but i can't see how it should have to be
cause if death is greedy why cant we be too?
God save me from these greasy spoons,
the last laugh crowd of the afternoon
who pushes past me while i pedal like hell
on my bike between a puddle and a sewer grate.

but if you can dance worse than I can dance
God help you.
I keep your memory in the space where my
brain once was,
my head's between my knees on the sidewalk
in front of a Dunkin Donuts,
spitting blood into the empty cup
of a hazelnut Coolata.
Things keep getting better like they
know they oughtta.

HaHa show#1. A promising group of people, this will be a promising show. I promise.

fur in my parka

rain under the staircase
with a coffee cup rush
turns my subtle brainwaves
into a mound of
mush.

sweet things

i have camels and a cardigan
and i cant wait till i get
home.
oh, i will come home.

and i was such a sweet thing,
me all weekend, such a sweet thing,
kissing everyone and everything
i own.

tuesday, wednesday, thursday

shaving my face gives me something to
savor.
I can't use a paintbrush
so i
use a razor.
There's no one to bother, no reasons to stop me.
I'll go to a party and drink till
i'm ugly.

spit the spit

i bit off a piece of my bottom lip
i swallow the spit. i,
i'm gonna be sick.

you dont need a camera
to picture
this feeling.

WHY DO I ONLY TAKE PICTURES OF THE SUN?!

WHY DO I DO THAT ONLY!?

wet weekend.

The rain comes down like
school kids running down the steps of the sky
and when I turn off the wipers on the windshield
It all turns into a cloud,
and I’m facing down a liquid crowd,
humming quiet buzzing bass lines in my Volkswagon Beetle.
I am young and dumb I’m
beautiful and warm and
not afraid of where my feet will
leave me.

i move a little slower in the winter
my blood and muscles are frozen still

i take a shower before dinner;
a Mountain Dew and a handfull of pills.

Just because ive got a betting streak
doesn't mean im good at card games.
i've got no mischeivious grins,
no mustache ends to spin, and hardly
any tricks to fit into my sleeves.
Just a couple of dirty jokes and dreams,
a sheet around me when i sleep,
and when the drugs begin to peak,
i'm the sweetest soul you never
really got to meet.


somewhere theres a record playing
in a room,
but right now i've got no simple tunes to sing on.
im burning up the American dream,
learning nothing from what everyone
thinks is knowledge.

New Brunswick.

I sold my soul in a yard sale
to a shaman in a sideways hat.
He gave me cigarettes, a penknife,
and a stifled laugh.